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Hustlers - Gigolos - Con ArtistsJuly 16, 2005 |
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| Jamaica might be the hustler
/ con-man capital of the world. If you want to learn how to do it, go
to a tourist beach in Jamaica and watch the hustlers go to work on you.
If you can even make it to the beach without one of these con-men yelling
at you, then you should get a prize. They get up early in the morning
to be ready for you. As soon as you step out of your hotel there they
are, Waving, yelling, gesturing. If you want it, they've got it. If you don't want it, they've got even more of it. The key to avoiding the Jamaican Hustler is to completely ignore them. They'll know that you know what's up and leave you alone. Don't let your manners and politeness get taken advantage of. If you don't defend yourself, they will push you as far as you'll let them.  A Scuzzbucket, wearing the latest line of Jamaican Hustler fashion, "The Man Skirt" This guy calls himself Marcos, but his name is Jimmy, he's a Jamaican Hustler. He works hard to be human garbage. He has a scar on his nose from someone who got sick of him. That one didn't work, maybe the next one will. Last year, this miscreant tried to convice me that I owed him $10 (J$500) for talking to him. We almost got into an altercation. He called me a bunch of names, I called him some names etc. This time, he didn't even bother with me. I would bet that this one individual alone costs Jamaica at least $100,000 / year. How? Imagine how many polite tourists this guy has ripped off, offended, disrespected, used up etc. Image how many people vowed to never go back to Jamaica, just because of this one guy. He messes with every single tourist that crosses his path, hundreds a day. Without these guys, Jamaica would be one of the most popular destinations for Americans, it is only 1 1/2 hours from Miami.  Here we see Jimmy the Hustler in action. Step One: Act like you want to be your victim's friend. These guys are new to Jamaica, I wouldn't have even looked at him.  Step 2: After your victim tells you that they don't want anything from you, Follow them. If I was the victim, I would keep my pace up as fast as possible, Make the bum run. They don't like to run.  Step 3: Keep talking to your victim, as they have your paycheck. The guy with the blue towel has the right idea, don't even aknowledge the parasite, he's been here for a few days. If it was me I would just start talking to my friend about something else, and just shut the bum off.  Please guys? Can I sell you something else you don't want? I just want to screw you over...  The guy with the orange towel finally gives up and starts to ignore him. How irritating it is to have a human sized mosquito buzzing in your ear down the beach. Hotel owners should pay someone to work these guys over, and drop them off in Grenada. The Jamaican government does almost nothing about it.  Marcos hard at work again. What's up Jimmy? Why don't you ever talk to anyone but white people?  Don't give up little man, you can rip off those tourists, You just have to believe in yourself. Remember, if you don't suck the life out of the foreigners, they might come back. Remember, it's all their fault you can't do anything else.  The sunset provides the perfect mood to bother everybody.  No cost to look, besides your patience, and any respect you had for the salesman.  Want to take a picture of a rastaman? No? Prepare to pay. |
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